


Love After

by cjjade



Series: The Power of Love [5]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Callum Highway is a good step-dad, Historical Inaccuracy, Intimacy Between Friends, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Platonic Soulmates, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26665696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjjade/pseuds/cjjade
Summary: Another Afterlife One Shot based around Paul Coker and Chris Kennedy.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Johnny Carter/Original Character(s), Paul Coker/Original Male Character
Series: The Power of Love [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1508435
Kudos: 7





	Love After

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take too much into the religion or historical aspect of this story. I attempt research but with COVID-19 I couldn't go to the library. But I attempted to stay as close to truth as I could. 
> 
> I started planning this one in the middle of Love Gently out of request for my friend Marc, who wanted more of William and Chris and the Afterlife world. This is nothing like the original plan, and I could not be happier about that. The first one was rough, so THANK YOU JACEY!!! Once again my beta has truly gone above and beyond. 
> 
> Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement it means the world.

**Love After**

Paul Coker walked around a valley full of red followers, some of the likes he had never seen before. He had been told by many they don’t exist long forgotten in the land of the living. That was probably one of the worst parts about being dead if Paul was being honest. You discover just how much the living had forgotten. Just looking at a globe you could see the civilizations, the languages, the lives that no one would ever know about. William was a prime example of that.

Paul knew he came from a tribe of people that came before the written word. Nothing had survived, no one knew about them or their language. He had mentioned more than once that no one here now would be able to say his name, his language just too complex. William died young; Paul was going to assume in battle of some kind. He knew he was older than most of the elders but had been an Elder the less amount of years. Or he assumed, sometimes he didn't know if that was true or not. Elders in Paul’s opinion had forgotten what it meant to be living, even William had his moments. But he guess when you had not been alive for as long as he had it was bound to happen.

“Still angry,” Paul smiled at Chris who had been sentence to the white room for causing a scene.

“Samuel Lewis should be in the bottom pit by now,” Chris hissed looking towards the sky to make sure no one heard him. “I don’t understand how I am here, and he is there with Callum?” Chris kicked the dirt then collapsed on the ground with a loud thump. “Callum’s brother, poor kid. He’ll just play with him until his next challenge presents himself.”

“Was this Samuel not a mate of yours,” Paul asked taking a sit next to him looking into the creek. 

“We were soldiers together,” Chris sighed looking out past the creek to the valley. “We went on a few missions, had the same friends.” Paul turned to look at Chris feeling more than see there was more. “I never trusted him; he was never honest with you not really. I caught him in a lie more than once, but Callum always took him at his word.” Paul smiled now seeing what was happening. “Would tell me maybe I was remembering it wrong, but I wasn’t.” Paul opened his mouth. “DON’T!” Chris’s voice was like the boom of thunder.

“I take it he and Callum were close though,” Paul sighed curious watching Chris relax only slightly.

“No one was closer,” Chris whispered remembering them together, looking to Paul sadly. “I would have done anything for Callum to have a tenth of the trust in me that he had in Sam.”

“I am your mate Chris,” Paul told him gently taking Chris’ hand into his. “I don’t know this Samuel and I only vaguely know Callum but maybe there’s something you don’t know?”

“There’s a lot I don’t know,” Chris confirmed bitterly taking his hand back.

Chris turned from Paul, he couldn’t look at him right now. He could feel Paul taking his anger away and he need to be angry, he didn't know why but he needed to be. Samuel Lewis was one of the most arrogant, selfish, self-centered, and disgusting men that Chris had ever met. He never took anything in his life serious, it was all a joke, and if someone got hurt then so be it. He had watched him break the hearts and souls of innocent people across the globe. With his sweets words and that childlike coy smile of his, everyone was putty in his pathetic skilled hand. 

Callum included. 

Sam and Callum had been the best of partners. There wasn’t a duo that had a better record, nearly spotless if Chris recalled correctly. The ones they didn’t complete were usually the fault of someone else, Chris had foiled a few of their missions. Never on purpose of course, but his distrust of Sam had gotten them in a few spots. No one knew how Sam and Callum worked so well together. They were pretty much opposites in every way, but they became one together. Callum with his warm smiles, gangly limbs, goofy hats, and horribly oversize sweaters. Sam with his cocky smile, perfectly tan skin, tight jeans, and always smelling of the night before no matter where they were.

Chris never understood their friendship, no one did, not even George. And George liked Sam. 

Chris still remembered the one time that Callum lost his temper on him after a bad mission. It had been after Sam had taken Callum home to meet his family, George was still with the team, Sam had almost died—again. This one wasn’t like before he didn’t end up in the infirmary, this one was because of Chris. Chris had misjudged a situation leaving Sam and George open, if Callum hadn’t had to double back like he did Sam and George wouldn’t have made it. That one shook Sam up for weeks, Callum took him home with him that night. No one asked questioned. Chris just recalled Callum pushing him again the wall, George had to talk him down. The anger in Callum's eyes was nothing he had ever seen before.

He and Callum never talked about it; Chris was scared what Callum would have said. 

Chris walked away from Paul he needed to be alone, he needed to know the truth. He knew that Ben was Callum’s soul mates, that they were destined to be together. He had seen Callum happy, living this open life with a man he loved. The man he was supposed to love, a man that wasn't him. Chris had smiled as a scene a few nights ago had played in front of him when the Elders wanted him to understand. Callum on the floor taking measurements of who he now knew was Callum’s stepdaughter Lexi. He had watched Ben roll his eyes as Callum took his too, Chris smiled as Callum told Ben to behave and he did. 

Chris found out later that it was for robes, Lexi wanted her and Ben to have matching Slytherin robes. He watched Callum smiling last night as he started sewing them hearing the playful way Callum told Ben he loved it. Chris could see on Ben’s face he did love it. Chris could feel the love that Ben had in his heart. Not only the love he had for the man who was in front of him, but also the love he had for his daughter. Chris didn’t know the story, but he could tell there was one. Ben smiling wide as he walked off to watch whatever was on the television, laughing when he heard Callum groan about whatever it was. 

Chris just needed to know, “Why Samuel Lewis?”

XOXO

William had watched Chris struggle; he had not been dead long just now going on a year. He also knew that his relationship with Samuel Lewis was complicated at best, they were just not meant to like one another. Callum and Sam were always meant to like one another, in multiple lifetimes Sam had been the _backup_ for Ben. William smiled as he saw Sam and Callum together, their relationship had always been and will always be intimate. The one thing that still shocked William was how friendship changed as the centuries did, what was accepted a hundred years ago wouldn't be today. 

Callum and Sam were intimate in ways that many in today's world frowned on, but their intimacy was not romantic love based. Ben and Johnny both acknowledge this, but then they were similar with each other. The ease Callum and Sam had with one another, the way their bodies knew each other. The way they had always been able to cuddle up to each other or hold that trust. Pretend on more than once mission they were established lovers; it came from a bond that was older than his bond with Ben. Sam and Callum were destined to always walk the same path. 

William knew it would shock people that you could have more than one soul mate. The idea that one’s soul mate was the one person that you married and spent your life with was highly inaccurate and unrealistic if he's being honest. Most of the time one’s soul mate wasn’t someone they were with, in a romantic sense. It was someone they had journeyed with for many lifetimes, someone that no matter what always seem to find them. Callum and Sam’s souls have never not found one another, in William's opinion it was one of the most beautiful things to witness. 

For William it made sense then that Sam’s romantic soul mate would once again be in Callum’s family, it wasn’t the first and if William were to bet it would not be the last. William knew that Sam was scared, he knew the parts of Sam’s life Chris did not. William could not help the grin that graced his face when Callum and Sam played with Lexi. William knew after thousands of years, their bond was one of the rarest. He could tell you on one hand how many of their type of soul bonds he had seen in the last millennium. 

Though William would not say it out loud, he quite enjoyed watching Callum and Ben.

“Chris hasn’t cooled off much,” Paul sighed coming to stand next to William as he looked out into what Paul saw as nothing. He looked to William then to the barren land back to William. “What are you looking at?”

“It quite amusing,” William smiled looking out seeing his tribe in front of him. “When one does not have a reference to what someone else is seeing all they see is the nothing.” Paul nodded not understanding exactly what he was saying but also knowing from experience sometimes that was best. “Chris is angry, he feels cheated.” Paul could relate, once he had let Ben go he himself had his moments. “It’s common, not everyone has your compassion.”

“I nearly destroyed Ben’s one chance at true love,” Paul reminded him still feeling guilt over that, plus he had spent what felt like a century alone in what he called atonement, William called it reflection. 

“Chris will have to decide if he can let go, stay on to train to be an agent,” William sighed turning away from a life he never got to live, one he tried not to think of. “Or if he wants to be reborn to try again.” Paul looked at him curious, William had never given him that option. “You could be reborn too, if that’s what you desire.” William voice was like Paul knew that already, when no, William had acted like this was his destiny. This was his only choice. “There is no life that you are with Ben, his soul always find Callum’s and you always die young.”

“Right,” Paul mumbled looking away, William let out a deep ragged breath.

William hated that Paul could do this to him, he didn’t know how it happened, but Paul could do it. One of the Elders, Rowena had made jokes since the beginning about his liking of Paul. He could not lie especially not to her. So he _confessed_ he did like Paul maybe a touch too much. Watching her smirk when he stated he would almost say that his affections were not standard of what had happened in the past with those under his charge. Watched as she knowingly nodded when he claimed that was his issue not Paul’s. It was not his fault that William after a thousand years was starting to feel rule honest emotions again. Rowena left him alone, but he knew he was walking a thin line now. 

Paul had such a compassionate soul. His whole life had been spent caring for others, loving others. If Paul had not entered Ben’s life when he did, Ben would have never learned what he needed to learn in order to have Callum. If the Ben who met Callum didn’t exist then Callum wouldn’t have had what he needed to come out. Paul was such a special person, and William hated himself that he had easily got caught feeling what he felt. If anyone besides Rowena ever truly knew how accurate her jokes were, knew how much William desired Paul. Then they would take Paul away and he’d never see him again. William they couldn’t touch, he was beyond their tiny pitiable little grasp, but Paul. 

Paul would pay the price.

“I’m sorry Paul,” William said sincerely putting his full attention on him now. “If you truly want your soul to be born again you have that right, but I don’t want you to do so in hopes of a dream that will never be.”

“You told me once my soul did have a lifetime with Ben once,” Paul reminded him watching William let out another deep breath. “I’m not stuck on Ben, and I don’t want to be reborn. I quite like annoying you every day.” William smiled softly.

“Not all souls find each other every lifetime, especially those bound like Callum and Ben,” William admitted looking to the glass painfully, Paul smiled as images of Callum and Sam come into view. This was not current, they were younger. “Callum and Sam’s soul have found each other every lifetime without fail.” Paul laughed as different men from different lifetimes came into his view. “From the time of Babylon,” William watched Paul gasp as two different men appeared. “The Trojan war to the Crusades.” Paul grinned as it appeared they were on different sides both times. “They always find one another, always venture side by side, never straying far from each other as year fades on. Their deaths always weeks apart, they are always buried near one another.”

“Is that why Ben is so…,” Paul motioned to Ben and Sam having a pint together, William laughed nodding as they faded away. “To know Ben is finally free and living the life I always dreamed for him…” Paul stopped because he could not put it into words. “Is that Johnny?” William nodded. “Ben mentioned him a few times, never knew him myself,” Paul tilted his head taking him into view. “He’s cute.” William laughed.

“He’s Sam’s,” William replied as Johnny took a seat by Ben not Sam, Paul looked at him. “Sam will get there.” Paul huffed a laugh when Johnny decline Sam’s offer for a drink. “Just not today.” William stopped suddenly. Something was wrong they should be all over each other. Something has happened---something bad---something very bad.

William hissed as he felt Chris presence around Johnny, looking at Paul who must have started to pick up on it. This was not good, not good at all.

XOXO

Paul smiled William had got permission to allow him to see the living world. He could not go to Walford or anywhere else that he knew people, so he picked Paris. Ben had once made a joke about them sneaking off to Paris to live away from everyone. People were running around; a young couple was kissing over in the corner. They should be in school, but they skipped to be together, Paul wanted to laugh. Their story was fated to end in barely a year but right now Paul could almost taste the sticky sweetness of first love.

The cars were racing around, a small motorbike just cut someone off almost causing an accident. The driver was an almost forty-five-year-old, he had wanted to race for a living. But his now wife got pregnant at nineteen, those dreams got exchanged for a small two bedroom flat while he worked two jobs just to scrap by until a break came. Now they had a beautiful home, two more children, and Paul could see him in almost twenty years years. His son, who is nine right now, would stand as one of the world's greatest mixed marital artist with his dad in his corner. Paul wanted to laugh he could see how this was addicting. He could see how agents get lost in it.

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to fade back to where he now called home. It was almost May, the breeze was turning warm, there were a few more days of rain but the world was growing into color. Paul missed Spring. Missed the flowers, misses the clothes and the people. As he opened them he was in what was now his living room, he fell into the chair. Rowena had warned him that trips to the living would take more energy now. He had been living off Ben’s living energy before, he didn’t have that now. None of them judge him for that, in fact he thought many of them were quite impressed.

Proof once again that love was an emotion that was as deadly as it was powerful.

“How is the living world,” Chris asked, Paul jumped a little not realizing he was there. Chris laughed, “Sorry, old habit.” Paul nodded but shot him a dirty look.

“It’s lively,” Paul grinned, Chris watched himself carefully. “Heard you were sneaking into Lee Carter’s dreams.” Chris frowned looking away. “Christopher.”

“I know,” Chris grumbled sliding down the wall, face defeated. “If you knew Sam…”

“You can’t keep doing this Chris,” Paul told him gently watching his friend look up at him. He considered telling him what he knew but in his state he wouldn’t take it well. “We aren’t meant to interfere in their lives.”

“What about Ben,” Chris snapped then instantly regretted it.

“Ben still had to choose Callum,” Paul told him voice soft, sometimes Chris hated that Paul could be so understanding. “I never took that away from him, I only showed him that holding onto our past was destroying his chance at having a real future.” Chris could hear the words, but he felt the pain in Paul’s voice. “You invaded Lee’s consciousness forcing your own feelings and emotions onto him.” Chris looked up for the first time feeling a sting of remorse for his actions. “You did so without his permission.”

“I didn’t think…” Chris muttered as shame started to overcome him.

“Lee has struggled for years with severe depression,” Paul told him standing up unable to believe Chris did this, and to Callum's brother. “This could have fatal consequences, Lee is going to be sick for weeks." Chris had not thought of after, he hadn't thought of anything but destroying Sam. "Rowena already stated it shifted Johnny and Sam's path. They should be building on their attraction instead you got into Johnny’s head too.”

When Chris realized he could easily slip away and no one would notice, he did. Callum was too hard, that boy had shields up tighter than Chris had ever seen, nothing was getting in there. Lee on the other hand, he was an easy target. Every time Chris started to feel guilt, it was like something inside of him reminded him of why he was doing this. Sam was bad news, and once he could get Johnny to see that the better off they’d all be. Johnny would move on, find someone better, someone who deserved him. The more Chris pushed Lee, the more he tried to show him, the more Johnny would fight him. The more Callum would get angry, Chris was at a loss. 

He wanted to give up, and almost did. Until that faithful day he slipped into Johnny’s head after having a thought. He had tried a few times, but it never worked, he just needed one time just one chance Chris' mind would tell him. It worked too. Johnny was young and insecure his doubt was easy to tap into. Chris felt such guilt using that against him, but Sam would destroy him anyways, so it was fine the voice said. He had seen the mess he made of those like Johnny. Chris got caught after that by William, locked down and forced to the white room as Paul called it. Chris had stood by his decision, had stewed in his anger that Samuel Lewis got to live a long happy life while he died. He was angry that Sam got to stay with Callum, that after all he did to keep them apart Sam won in the end—again.

Paul watched Chris start to cry, he wanted to remain mad at Chris. He wanted to yell and scream, but Paul could not find it in himself to be angry anymore. Chris was angry, he felt betrayed by the powers above, and something just didn't feel right. Something with Chris had been off for weeks. Paul could not understand his hate, it almost felt like it came out of nowhere. Maybe no, Jay was different than Sam. Sam and Callum had a very different bond, even Paul could feel it. William had even said they were intimate, not in the way like Callum is with Ben but on a different level. 

Paul could imagine this was hard for Chris. Chris never got that. Instead what he got was to fall in love with someone who would never openly love him back or even attempt to mutter the words. Chris got to know that that same man would find someone who was similar to a person Chris loathed above all else. Chris right now felt like his life meant nothing, it had no reason to be. Chris wanted to know what he accomplished. Paul could not be angry with him; he could not turn his back or send him away like he knew William wanted. It wasn’t in his nature. Instead Paul took Chris into his arms, there were no words that could soothe him but at least right now Chris knew he wasn’t alone.

No one deserved to be alone.

XOXO

William wanted to smile, everything inside of him knew he should. He knew Paul Coker was meant for greatness above all others. The moment William’s eyes met with Paul’s soul a thousand years ago he knew that remarkable things would come of him. He was right, Paul’s soul had never let him down, not once. He had watched as Paul’s past lives had always prevailed in excellence beyond which only others could mimic. From teaching those who would change the world, to bringing a moment of joy in times of pain and suffering, to being the last free voice heard in a crowd of hate. Paul had always been a light in the darkness. Sometimes they were big actions like giving his life to a save so many during the Underground Railroad. Sometimes the actions were small, like loving a boy from the East side of London who had never experienced unconditional unselfish love and acceptance. 

Rowena had watched Paul, she too determined he would make a wonderful Guardian one day—with training—lots of training. 

Watching him with Chris, watching him finally get Chris to understand the grave line that he had cross. Watching Paul despite his own emotional turmoil bring comfort to Chris as the weight of everything he did crashed down on him hard. Watching him ease Chris’ pain, guide him through the overwhelming emotions and anguish that were plaguing his very being. With the right training, the right mentor she agreed with William, Paul would be a fine addition. He would make a brilliant new agent, then one day a true Guardian, and maybe if lucky enough an Elder. Paul was impulsive yes, relied a little too much on emotions, but maybe William had a point. 

They needed someone like that. They needed to remember that they were flesh and blood at one time, full of wonder and misgivings. They needed to remember who they were protecting, guiding, it was easy to forget it seems. Rowena forgot so easily, until William reminded her. An image of her sister who mourned for her every day, she never forgot Rowena. Name her son, Rowen after her. The moment she saw her on the screen, Rowena remembered the pain she felt after she learned of her death. Recalled the utter devastation she felt looking around her, then having to put aside her anger, her hate, and just let go and accept—it was all over. 

“How is Chris doing,” Paul asked gently leaning against the stone wall watching William carefully, he had been acting different for days. Paul watched William stiffen, then roll his shoulder attempting to force his body to relax. He was failing. “William.”

“He’s fine,” William snipped coldly not turning to look at Paul. “Rowena has decided to assign him to Clyde, he specializes in Chris’ ability.”

“Are you okay,” Paul asked softly, he could almost feel William’s emotion wash over him. They weren’t good, they were bad, almost purely negative. “Did I do something to upset you?” William closed his eyes, hearing the confusions and hurt in Paul’s voice cut through him like no blade ever had.

“No,” William lied, sort of. Paul had done nothing wrong he was just being himself. “I should have seen what he was doing, I should have been better.” William could not look at Paul, knew Paul would see the lie within his words. “I am taking the blame it should not fall on his shoulders alone.”

“Blame,” Paul repeated pushing himself away from the cold wall.

“I am recommending Rowena take over as your mentor,” William said looking down at the ground, then back up still avoiding Paul’s face. “I need to reevaluate my methods…” William had a lie ready, but he couldn’t, he stopped once Paul’s emotions hit him like tidal wave. “Paul…”

Just like that Paul was gone, out the door with not a word he just walked away. The taste of his hurt, his anger could be tasted on William’s lips long after, he hated this feeling. William looked up willing his village to appear, a simpler time he always told himself. There was little to do besides train, fight, hunt, and try to survive. Food was scarce, and contrary to popular belief the world isn’t half one gender half another. Especially since gender is as more people are realizing fluid. Back when he roamed the earth people weren’t seen as male and female as much as warrior or not. 

William had been named one of the best, he feared nothing—until he came here. 

If they found his people they would see that those that would be call female by their standards fought as equals. Not every man fought, and not every woman bore a child. He had been trained to hunt by a female, she was swift on her feet and not one man could see what she could. It had been a great honor to have been chosen by her. When he died it was during a bloody battle, he died like many as of his tribe. Few lived past that battle. Not twenty years later they would be wiped out, forgotten by all within a hundred years. All his tribe moved on to be reborn over and over again, William never did, he stayed. 

Sometimes he truly was a coward.

As the years faded into centuries, then one millennium to the next, as the civilizations were built and crumbled to dust, as the world shaped itself into what it is today William remained in the shadows. William never regretted his decision to not be reborn, he never cried over lives lost. That was until he saw Paul’s soul that one fateful day. Over a thousand years ago, he had given his life for another like he had done so many times over the span of his thousands of lives. William could not tell you how old he was, or when he was born. Time was not something that his people knew about, they only understood surviving, fighting, hunting. Time had no meaning, that would come later. Maybe that is why they faded away into the sand and ash.

William watched Paul through the next thousand years, watched in awe but mostly in deep envy. He never tried to meet him, never tried anything that would change the course of his recreations until Paul Coker. Of all the lives he shined the brightest, William had never seen a star as bright as his soul. He had been killed out of ignorance and hate but he wished no harm to them, not one. Justice sure, he wanted justice but never revenge or hate in his name. The moment William gave into his weakness and met Paul he knew. He knew he shouldn’t have done so, because William felt more on that one moment then he had in all the thousands of years of being here. 

William knew in that moment he was doomed for all eternity. Knew somewhere the gods were cackling at his expense. He was a fool and a coward, but mostly a fool.

XOXO

Chris smiled as he saw Callum. His face bight and full of love as he chased Lexi and a group of children around the park. It was May, the warm air blowing in the wind, summer was just around the corner. It was Saturday, Callum was hosting some book thing it looked like. Chris had listened as Callum read them some non-fiction book on football. Chris watched as some rolled their eyes, but Lexi seemed deeply interested. But something told him if Callum liked it, she would be interested. Now they were in the middle of a park, the same kids who rolled their eyes were in giggles as they learned to play the game.

Johnny was here too, both taking a group of the children as a few mothers watched smiling on the sidelines. Callum smiling proudly as Lexi kicked a goal, Chris watching him spin her around listening to her innocent laughter. A child’s laughter was power, especially when it came from love. Watching Ben and Sam show up didn’t hurt this time, though Chris still wanted Sam to fall in a pit for at least a century—well maybe only a decade. Chris knew he had a choice to make, right now he could not make it. It was fueled by rage that even he didn’t understand because he had no idea what had made him do what he did to Lee. It had been explained that some people were more sensitive to their past lives then other, and he was one of them. Their anger and their hate had been the main influence of what he did, not Chris. The voice in his head being one of his past lives. It hurt to know that he had caused Johnny so much suffering, not to mention what was happening to Lee. 

Lee who was now sick because of him. Clyde had promised that he would make a full recovery, to the living he just looked like he caught a horrible virus or infection. His body needed to work out all the negative aspects that Chris and his past lives had pumped into his system. He was home from the hospital with Whitney, in a month or so he’d be back to new. Clyde had promised nothing between Lee and his brothers were damaged. Johnny and Sam were another question, what Chris had done to Johnny’s insecurities may take longer to repair. Though by the look on his face when he saw Sam, Chris hoped Clyde will be wrong about that.

“It all worked out,” William stated watching as Ben watched Callum teach Lexi a better way to kick the ball.

“We don’t know that,” Chris sighed looking at Johnny who made sure to stay out of Sam’s way.

“We all make mistakes,” William assured him gently smiling as Callum did some trick with the ball that had Lexi and her friends clapping, but Ben rolling his eyes. “You didn’t ruin anything it’s just going to take a few extra weeks to get them talking about feelings.” Chris frowned looking at Sam, he really didn’t like him, but looking at him now he saw something different. “You are seeing his soul, his potential.”

“He’s tethered to both Johnny and Callum,” Chris questioned looking at Sam jogging towards Lexi giving her a nod, watching her kick the ball to him. Then Chris’ shot to Johnny who was helping a few of the children get ready to leave with their parents. “How is Callum tethered to him and Ben?”

Paul had been avoiding him, and William could not blame him, he wanted to deal with Paul, but he couldn’t either. How did you tell someone that you were their soul mate, but they never got the real chance to meet you because you took the east way out and never got reborn? His soul and Paul’s soul never met, because as Paul’s soul got reborn his remained here. William had been scared; the idea of the unknown had terrified him like no battle had before. He remained becoming the first Guardian, then Elder, then back to Guardian then elder for a couple hundred years then back to Guardian. It was an endless cycle because what do you do when no god of any of the religions knew what to do with you.

William was pretty much left to his own device, making and changing whatever he wanted. Only Rowena knew his true story, the Elders now foolishly believed they could punish him if they tried. Sometimes he pushed the boundaries just to see what they would do. When an Elder got too much on his nerves or too powerful he’d make them go away. A new Elder would take their place, it hadn’t happened in almost four hundred years. But William could almost feel something stirring within them. 

Paul had mentioned to Rowena that maybe seeing this would help Chris. William had to agree, it had helped Rowena and it had helped Paul and Ben as well. Maybe if he could let Chris see how happy Callum was, maybe then he would understand and let go of his lingering hatred and rage. The issue was that it really wasn’t Chris’ hatred or rage, he was such a good and compassionate man. It was probably Eugene, a gun slinger turned farmer from the old west that was easily tempered at the best of times. He had died when he decided to challenge Sam’s soul who was known as Connor back then to a gun fight. It didn’t end well for Eugene, while Connor went on to live a long peaceful life. William never met Eugene thankfully, those with his level of anger got reborn without hesitation. 

Dealing with third party anger is hard, especially when you are like Chris. His past lives can connect to him easier than most, which usually happens to those who can dream walk. Those like Chris are used to help those suffering, sending peaceful dreams or helping them to move on through dreams. In time Chris will learn to do a lot of good if he chooses to remain, right now it’s just too tricky to move him on. They need to make sure Lee will be okay, and that none of Chris still is lingering inside of him. 

William messed up horribly on this situation, which hasn’t happened in over three thousand years, so he guesses he was due.

  
“You have to accept that there are some things you aren’t ready to understand just yet or maybe ever,” William began softly walking closer to him, this was why he brought him here. He needed Chris to acknowledge he wasn’t ready for all the answers. No one could know all the answers, there was just too much to know. “There are different types of soul mates Christopher, not all soul mates are romantically connected.” Chris nodded eyes dead set on them. “Sam and Callum have an extremely rare soul bond that not even the gods can break and trust me they’ve tried with others.” William frowned thinking of those dark times, but most the old gods ignored mankind these days. “Their souls will always find one another, always know and always trust one another without hesitation or reason, it’s not for you or I to comprehend, it just is.” Chris inhales slowly as feelings began to wash over him, images of times and places he’d never seen or known. Watching as they all meet time and time again, he was always jealous, always angry, and always so petty. Chris started laughing, William couldn’t hide his surprise. “Christopher?”

“It all makes sense now,” Chris laughed falling to his knees, William looked over to Sam and Callum back to Chris. “I could never understand why he choose him every time, what about Sam made Callum so at ease. Why could he open up to him, love him but never me.” William opened his mouth to have Chris wave his hand. “I know Callum loved me I do but never like Sam. Their relationship was intense and…” Chris stopped trying to find the right word. “Weird.” William laughed softly. “It all connects now though, everything about them and me it all finally makes sense.”

William smiled, maybe Paul didn’t need as much training as Rowena thought. 

XOXO

Paul could not tell you how long it had been since he’d last seen William, it felt like centuries, but Rowena had told him only weeks. Rowena informed him time moves differently here. What seems like a thousand years could be a day or a day could be a thousand years, depends on the reasoning. The afterlife confuses Paul on so many different levels. He had been told to never try to understand it, it only amuses the gods at mankind’s stupidity and ignorance. The gods he had been told do exists, from the ones of Greece and Rome to his own and even Jesus Christ was real. Though history was written mainly be man, so Rowena commented how wrong it usually is, but some things they got right. She never went into detail but Paul took comfort in that it was real.

Paul had been taken from the cute little cottage that William had made for him to this place, whatever one wanted to call this place. Rowena had told him this was what many now called Britannia, or at least the time frame of that era. Paul had to say it was beautiful, but also deadly. Then again he was sure a world without all the pollution and toxic waste that he knows would be vastly different. He also didn’t know what part of the world he was in, just that he loved the chill that was in the air.

Paul sat on a cliff looking over to what he expects was most likely the ocean, the waves crashing against the cliffs. It was thrilling even now being this close to the edge. Even though Rowena had told him if he jumps in he’ll just end up in the exact spot he was before he jumped. Paul still felt like he did when he was alive, heart racing and blood pumping in his ear. He could taste the salt in the air, could feel the mist on his skin, it was the perfect day. He liked and hated it here. Knees to his chest he missed his cottage, he missed talking to Chris, and despite William's up and down roller coaster of way of treating him he missed him too. _Maybe._

“This was one of my favorite time periods,” William admitted looking out into the ocean smiling. Recalling a time there had been hundreds of battle ships lining the shore for one battle or another. “So many battles fought on those very shores.” William looked down recalling a few he had observed, how he almost envied those men back then. “When I was stationed in soul retrieval there were three battles in a week once, took months for all the blood to wash away.” William looked over to Paul to see his horrified look. “I died in battle.” Paul gave him a small nod.

“What do you want William,” Paul asked sharply turning back to the ocean, frowning deeper as William took a sit next to him. William wanted to laugh he was horrible at this.

“You never lived a life with your soul mate,” William started feeling Paul turn to look at him, he couldn’t do this if he looked at Paul. “You always die young, usually after helping or saving some lost soul that needs it.”

“Ben,” Paul states watching William nod, then inhale and exhale deeply. Paul watches as the ocean starts to stir, like it and William were connected. “Do I not have one?” He sounded so heartbroken.

“Me,” William whispers closing his eyes as he hears Paul sharp intake of breath. “I’ve been watching you for a thousand years, never bothered me before, never wanted to be reborn,” Paul watches William pull grass out of the ground and play with it. “I got a look at you by chance and gods your soul was just as bright as the sun. I followed you after that…”

“Is that why you were so stuck on me not moving on,” Paul asked, because everyone had mentioned how firmly set he was on Paul staying. “Why you kept helping me? Rowena said you never paid this much attention to anyone in the years she’s known you.”

“I couldn’t condemn you to another life of waiting for something that will never come,” William snapped tossing the grass over the cliff. “Giving your pure heart so freely, to someone who was not meant to hold it.” Paul felt like everything he knew, everything William had taught him made no sense. 

“Why not just be reborn then,” Paul asked confused, if William had watched him for that long, Paul didn’t know what to feel right now. 

William wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry, but most of all he wanted Paul. He told Rowena the truth, who Paul was to him and in a similar scene with Christopher it all connected for her. William had never met his soul mate before, not in the living world or the afterlife. It made perfect sense to her that he would become overwhelmed, even boarding on obsessed. It made sense that he would fight for him, that he would be so blinded by who he was to William that he could not see what was truly best for him. He had thought she would be angry but instead he found the girl he trained all those years ago giddy with joy. 

Rowena and he had known each other over two thousand years. It was how he knew that seeing her sister would make her understand that Paul was needed here. She was forgetting what made her special all those years ago. The passion for life and the passion for death that flowed through her veins. She had fought and she had died, but her strength lived on in her memory of her little sister, then in her nephew. Her line still alive today because she never allowed anyone to come between her and what she desired. That was why he knew she would train Paul in the way he needed to be trained. 

Rowena was also one of the few who knew most of the truth about William, and his true past. That he was not the young elder he pretended to be. He was not the sometimes overly attached guardian who took care of those few that like to break the rules. He was more than that, he was the original, the first to ever walk this life. He had watched the world change; he had seen the greatest and worse that mankind had been since almost the beginning of mankind. He had watched the afterlife shift as the centuries change them too. He knew the names of gods who had never been written in books or scriptures. He marveled as angels flew above then shook his head as lines were drawn in the sand by their father. William was more than anyone could imagine, but he never wanted to be.

Paul blinked then realized he was no longer on the cliff, luckily he was adjusting to Afterlife traveling. He watched as William stood up, Paul had no idea where they were. Looking around he noticed it was decently sized, standing up he spun around trying to take it all in. It almost reminded him of one of the Viking lodges he saw on all those documentaries Ben liked to watch. He looked over to William, then it hit him hard, this was William’s home. No one really knew where his home was located or what it looked like, but it made sense. It was cold, impersonal, no bedroom or personality in sight. It was far different than his own cottage that was warm and inviting. This place was what one would expect from someone like William.

Paul loathed it with every fiber of his being. 

“I am not allowed to be reborn,” William stated closing his eyes as he sat in a chair, then opening them slowly looking at Paul. “I am the original, I was here long before anyone else, for a very long time I was alone." Paul felt his heart break. "In time more joined me, first as punishments then as rewards." Paul could not see any of this as rewarding but he guess the world has changed. "As the numbers grew a _system_ was created. There was a minor..." William didn't want to say war, but it hadn't been pretty. "Dispute between the resident." William face showed it had been more than minor. "Different faiths, ideals, customs," William paused. "Everyone had their own way they thought it should be." Paul frowned, though he guess it should not surprise him. "A range of jobs and positions based on why you were here were decided. For awhile I oversaw everything but I got bored being in charge so I made the Elders." Paul laughed falling into a chair. "We became the unseen behind death, titles may have changed over time but our purpose has not."

Paul wanted to say this was shocking to him, but much like everything since he had arrived here it made sense. The moment your feet touched the ground on this--Paul still didn't know what to call it---world---dimension. All Paul knew was the moment he came here he felt connected to something. To say he was not drawn to William would be a lie. Sometimes it was to yell at him, to tell him how wrong he was. Sometimes it was to try and understand him. He came off so cold, so purely heartless. Outside of Ben Paul had never known anyone who could push his buttons the way William seem to do so naturally. 

Then lately it was because with William Paul felt complete. Like there had been this hole inside of him that he never knew about and William help the piece to fill it up. Like a part of him had finally found what it was looking for. He could hear the voices of thousands of lifetimes telling him he was where he needed to be. He never knew why, he never understood the reasoning behind those voices---until now. 

Both William and Rowena had told him out of all the life times he lived, and there were thousands of them over almost three millenniums he and Ben's lives were together once. It was during one of the crusades Rowena told him. Paul still died young, older than usual but still young, and Ben died with him. Callum would not find Ben this lifetime, venturing east with Sam. Paul and Ben would die of illness but they loved each other. The decade they had were good to both of them. 

Paul found no comfort in that though. One life time in thousands, they died days apart from an illness. Both being pushed to be reborn almost immediately it seemed. In the next life Ben and Callum would live to be old men, Sam too. While he and Chris died young---again. He could almost understand Chris' anger, it did seem unfair.

"Nobody knows do they," Paul asked thinking of the past almost four years he's been here, the way everyone treats him. "How does nobody know?"

"The gods that do visit like order, the less The Elder know the more they listen. I maintain the order, and they get to live their cushy lives away from here," Paul felt his heart hurt a little for William. "Rowena is the only Elder who knows about me," William admitted though he knew the others suspected. "There's a few Guardians but like Rowena they keep quiet. They like their lives here, and I occasionally overlook small infractions for their loyalty." William stood up walking towards Paul slowly not knowing what to suspect. " I am stuck here forever, there's nowhere for me to go. Until I met you I did not mind that fate, but the idea of living without you," William stopped in front of him. "Now that is a punishment worse than a thousand deaths." Paul smiled, never had words touched him so deeply.

"I don't want to move on William," Paul told him honestly, he had never felt more connected to anything or anyone until he came here. "I just didn't understand why you were so angry with me." He watched William look away as he turned bright red. "William?"

"I thought you had feelings for Chris," William admitted softly closing his eyes as Paul chuckled. "It's is not humorous Paul," William grumbled feeling his face heat. "I feel foolish."

"Do not feel foolish," Paul smiled overjoyed standing up, gods did William love that smile.

William felt his heart beat faster, Paul's brown eyes showed lifetimes of love and compassion. William knew his own probably showed thousand years of living isolated, they were harsh and dead. Rowena had once said it was like looking out into the coldest wintery night. They were voids of nothing. William closed his eyes the moment Paul lifted his hand to touch his face. So many emotions flowed between them, if William was younger he knew anything glass would shatter into pieces. The first touch of soul mates were always electric here. Add the fact they had never touched, this meant that William could feel every lifetime of Paul in his blood. 

Leaning forward William connected their lips, he could hear chairs falling over, could smell the musky tang of the earth around them. Paul gasped into his mouth, pulling him closer as the small warmth in his blood turned into a fire that burned in his very being. Pushing his fingers through Paul's soft dark curls William wanted to lose himself, and if he had been younger he knew he would. It was addictive, this taste, the feeling of their souls merging into one. It would be so easy to just let go. 

Pulling apart, Paul looked wrecked, drained. William loved this look on him.

"This is going to take some practice for you," William whispered leaning forward to place a small kiss on Paul's red puffy lips. "Us being together, it can be draining." Paul nodded, he felt lightheaded, his hands on William's shoulder trying to stay upright.

"Have you..." Paul mumbled wondering, his eyes looking away. William brought their lips together again, Paul hummed a soft moan as words were swallowed. 

"Not with those like us," William stated gently, placing small kisses on his face. "I have seen others though." Paul nodded opening his mouth but unable to speak. "I have rarely desired this." Paul nodded leaning his head forward to rest on William's shoulder. Humming as William kissed the top of his head. "Come on, we have nothing but time."

Paul lifted his head leaning into William's hand closing his eyes kissing his palm, Paul felt warm. There was a soft warmth over his body, it made him feel safe--content. Like when you wake up from a really good nap with someone you love wrapped around you. The first look into each other eyes, the way you knew in that moment nothing could hurt you. That was the feeling that he was being enveloped in. Then William was kissing him again, William liked kissing. Like the way his lips felt on Paul's lips, on his skin, like the taste of Paul on his lips and tongue. 

This time harder this time the warmth swirled around them, started to sizzle into heat. 

Paul pulled him closer, felt himself falling until he was coming into contact with a soft bed. Paul gasped as William's hard body crashed down on his, William felt like he was swimming. He had never tasted anything this sweet and sour on his own tongue as intensely. Sure when he was among the mortals he could taste their love, their lust, their passion but to taste it himself was overwhelming. Paul's hands clawing at his own clothes until they came into contact with warm flesh. 

It was William's turn to gasp, as small shocks went through his body. They both looked up as something shattered with a loud bang, Paul giggled as William turned right red in humiliation. He rolled over quickly covering his face in his hands, had he really lost himself that quickly. He had known that Paul would need help, but he was older than some of the gods who walk here. One kiss, one touch from his soul mate had his forgetting thousands and thousands of years of training and experience. 

"Guess we'll both need some practice sessions," Paul grinned turning to look at William, William wanted to snap at him but one look at Paul's face and he melted. "There's nothing to feel shame over."

"I am thousands of years old," William grumbled, then hummed as Paul moved his hair out of his eyes. His finger gliding softly over William's skin. "Been the lover to gods you don't even know of." William turned to look at Paul quickly opened to apologize to have Paul cover his mouth gently with a soft smile.

"Don't ever think you need to hide anything from me," Paul told him softly, he knew William must have had hundreds of lover. Paul watched as tattoos and markings appeared and disappeared on his skin wherever he touched. "None of them were your soul mate, none of them were connected like you and I obviously are." William softly smiled lifting his hand to touch Paul's face. "Besides like you said we have nothing but time."

"An eternity," William sighed as Paul leaned to kiss his wrist.

"Eternity," Paul repeated, William wanted to taste him again, but that would not be good.

Paul slowly lowered his body onto William's body, laying his head on his chest as William tangled their legs together. Paul hummed in pleasure as William's hand caressed his back as his body relaxed into slumber. William had never done this, a few of his lovers had attempted but it was not in his nature. Sex wasn't like it was now to his people. Trying to explain it was complicated and took too much time, so he didn't usually. When he realized that sex could be good, could make you feel good, was six centuries before he met Rowena. It was an unknown Greek god, one of the many sons of Zeus. 

He can't say it changed him much, he still didn't crave it, but he understood the appeal. After the next two thousand years he would have several lovers, most gods or children of gods. But nothing about those encounters made him feel what this made him feel. When Rowena talked about her lover, when she would speak of her hearts longing he didn't understand her words. Now he wondered if this was what she meant. To feel as if another person was a part of you, to want them to be a part of you. 

William smiled, he could feel Paul's body against his, and William would not lie. It felt good. Despite them not needing sleep, they could sleep, and Paul loved naps. If Paul had not been sleeping, William would allow himself to laugh. He had been wondering if there was anything left in this universe to surprise him, to teach him. He had been watching the mortals wondering if there was anything left for him to learn, to experience. He of course had been told yes by many but he did not believe any of them until this moment. 

Looking down to Paul, he closed his eyes taking in his scent. This was not something he knew of, he had no battle plan no strategy to conquer this. For the first time in almost three thousand years he had no idea how to deal with a situation. It actually filled him with a childish giddy type of joy. To know that he could still learn, that he could still be surprised, well there were no words for that sensation. He also could not lie that if it meant kissing Paul, feeling Paul's body against his. Well, William was more than willing to engage in as many practice sessions as need be. 

William allowed himself to drift off to sleep, he hadn't slept in over a thousand years. But he knew when he awoke Paul would be right there with him, and he wouldn't be opposed to doing this more often. Rowena looked into the cottage hand over her mouth to hide her giggles. Chris grinned next to her shaking his head. It was going to be some work, but if anyone deserved just a little happiness it was William. Chris followed behind Rowena, filled with a new hope. If Paul could find his soul mate here, find love, well then maybe Clyde was right after all. 

Death didn't mean one stopped living, they just found a new way to do it.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Jacey requested a Sam Lewis and Johnny Carter one shot, and gave a request. She is beta reading that now. It actually is going to be the set up for the next story. The new story won't come out until after October as I will be doing a writing project for Kinktober. 
> 
> Once again thank you for all the support!!


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